Immature Entrepreneur

My buddy and colleague, Josh Bulloc, over at http://www.thebootstrapcoach.com/ have recently been discussing the idea of effectiveness. Sometimes people feel so strongly about a subject that their passion comes through loud and clear but they may inadvertantly cause a disconnect with the person they’re talking to as a result.

For example, I’m a big fan of “undoing your programming” and deliberately not following the traditional path that is laid out for us. Go to school, get good grades, got to college (and rack up a huge student loan debt in the progress), get a good paying job with job security, etc. While that approach may have worked 50 years ago, today this is a recipe for disaster. I truly believe it robs us of our creativity, our passion and our souls. People aren’t meant to sit in a cubile 50-60 hours a week. So when I hear people talk about being frustrated with their job, my first instinct is to flamingo jump kick them straight up Karate Kid style and scream at them for being frustrated with a situation they created.

While that might make me feel better, would it be effective? If my true goal is to help open their eyes and show them a different way, would the flamingo kick help me to achieve this goal?

While your message or point is certainly important, focus less on your point and more on whether you’re being effective in delivering your message. After all, people don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care.

Think back to when you were a little kid. Do you recall your parents ever getting upset with you for something but you genuinely didn’t know you weren’t supposed to do it/touch it/get into it? Has your boss ever become angry with you over something and you said to yourself, “What does this jerk think I am, a mind reader?” Worse, have you ever yelled at your child and thought to yourself, “Geez, he should have known better!”

Effective communication could have prevented each of the scenarios outlined above. In fact, communicating well can help prevent many unpleasant things such as:

• Frustration
• Drama
• Misunderstandings
• Demoralization
• Decreased productivity
• Turnover
• The over-consumption of Bon Bons

Strive for a positive, open communication style. Remain calm in your interactions with others. Above all else, listen. Make the other party feel as though they are the most important person in the world to you at that moment. Just as with respect, communication must be mutual–allow time for both parties to speak. Paraphrasing and repeating back what the other party said is a great way to demonstrate you heard them. They will feel as though you truly care about what they have to say and therefore be more receptive to you in return.

After all, none of us wants to walk into the “whatchu talkin’ bout, Willis?!!” moment. Especially when it’s avoidable.